Ho-Ho-Homicide (Bubba the Monster Hunter) Read online

  “That wasn’t very nice, Bubba.” Skeeter said in my ear.

  “I’m not a very nice person, Skeeter.” I replied to the air.

  “Tell that to the woman and her kid that you helped tonight.” He fired back.

  “Does it balance, Skeeter?”

  “Does it matter? We’ve got a job to do. And people need us to do that job. And we’re pretty good at it.”

  “And it pays my bar tab.”

  “Which is not an inconsiderable sum, Bubba.”

  “So which way was that titty bar, Skeeter?”

  “Get a GPS, redneck.”

  “Why would I want a GPS when I have you, little buddy?”

  “Yeah, Merry Christmas to you, too.” By then I was out of the mall and into my F-250, rolling east on I-64 looking for the promised land and peace on earth. Or at least a nice pair of fake boobs and a pitcher of cold beer.

  For information on appearances, signings, autographed copies, etc. please visit

  http://www.johnhartness.com

  @johnhartness on Twitter

  Copyright 2011 by John G. Hartness

  Ho-Ho-Homicide by John G. Hartness is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

  About the Author

  John G. Hartness is a recovering theatre geek who likes loud music, fried pickles and cold beer. John is an award-winning poet, lighting designer and theatre producer, whose work has been translated into over 25 languages and read worldwide. He's been published in several online literary journals including The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, cc&d, Deuce Coupe and Truckin'. His poem "Dancing with Fireflies" was nominated for a 2010 Pushcart Prize.

  His first novel, The Chosen, is an urban fantasy about saving the world, snotty archangels, gambling, tattooed street preachers, immortals with family issues, bar brawls and the consequences of our decisions.

  He followed up The Chosen with Hard Day's Knight, a new twist on the vampire detective novel and the first book in the highly successful series The Black Knight Chronicles. The second book of The Black Knight Chronicles, Back in Black, landed in March 2011 and has enjoyed immediate success. Knight Moves, the third Black Knight book, was released in August 2011.

  John has been called "the Kevin Smith of Charlotte," and fans of Joss Whedon and Jim Butcher should enjoy his snarky slant on the fantasy genre.

  He can be found online at www.johnhartness.com and spends too much time on Twitter, especially after a few drinks.

  For more information about appearances, signings, and other silliness, feel free to follow John on Twitter (@johnhartness), or on his website www.johnhartness.com.

  Also by John G. Hartness

  Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Stories

  Voodoo Children

  Ballet of Blood

  The Black Knight Chronicles

  Volume 1 - Hard Day’s Knight

  Volume 2 - Back in Black

  Volume 3 - Knight Moves

  Movie Knight - A Black Knight Short Story

  Black Magic Woman - A Black Knight Short Story

  Other Work

  Genesis - Return to Eden Book 1

  The Chosen

  Returning the Favor and other slices of life

  Red Dirt Boy

  The Christmas Lights

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Ho-Ho-Homicide

  For information on appearances, signings, autographed

  About the Author

  John G. Hartness is a recovering theatre geek who likes loud music, fried pickles and cold beer. John is an award-winning poet, lighting designer and theatre producer, whose work has been translated into over 25 languages and read worldwide. He's been published in several online literary journals including The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, cc&d, Deuce Coupe and Truckin'. His poem "Dancing with Fireflies" was nominated for a 2010 Pushcart Prize.

  His first novel, The Chosen, is an urban fantasy about saving the world, snotty archangels, gambling, tattooed street preachers, immortals with family issues, bar brawls and the consequences of our decisions.

  He followed up The Chosen with Hard Day's Knight, a new twist on the vampire detective novel and the first book in the highly successful series The Black Knight Chronicles. The second book of The Black Knight Chronicles, Back in Black, landed in March 2011 and has enjoyed immediate success. Knight Moves, the third Black Knight book, was released in August 2011.

  John has been called "the Kevin Smith of Charlotte," and fans of Joss Whedon and Jim Butcher should enjoy his snarky slant on the fantasy genre.

  He can be found online at www.johnhartness.com and spends too much time on Twitter, especially after a few drinks.

  For more information about appearances, signings, and other silliness, feel free to follow John on Twitter (@johnhartness), or on his website www.johnhartness.com.

  Also by John G. Hartness